Invisible Gays

Last year we were on our annual Memorial Day jaunt at a tres gay inn in Fort Lauderdale. As usual, it was tons of fun, and we met a lot of interesting people, talking and chatting poolside. There was one fellow, though, who was basically being ignored by everyone, and left to himself. I decided to go over and sit in the chaise next to him, and started talking to him, and he turned out to be very talkative, interesting, and nice. We chatted for a while, until it was time for me to get ready for dinner. I felt bad for the other guys who ignored him, and who didn’t get a chance to see what a nice fellow he was. But you see, the reason they weren’t approaching him was because he was obese. He is what I call one of the "Invisible Gays.”

You know them, heck, you might even be one. Invisible Gays are those at parties, by the pool, at the bar, basically any gay milieu, but who nobody approaches, or talks to, or barely even notices. They’re fat, or bald, or older, or ugly, or too gay, or any combination of these. Just read the profiles of many guys on line: no fems, fats, or bald guys. Now, I can understand, to an extent, saying this in a MFM profile, because we’re all looking for a guy who matches our personal requirements (impossible to fill as many of them may be), but to be at a fun social event and not approach or include someone just because they don't match one’s personal dating requirements is at best ridiculous, at worst downright mean. Nobody’s thinking we're going to take him back to our room for a romp, and as self-conscious about his weight/hair loss/big nose as he already is, he's probably also pretty sure we’re not trying to pick him up either, but actually just interested in him as a person.

So, the next time your at a party, or some tres gay event, and you see an Invisible Gay, leave the group of hotties you're with for a bit, and chat the guy up. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a friend.