Beatitudes or Gay Attitudes

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals, it's just that they need more supervision." - Lynn Lavner, Lesbian Comic.

As today is Sunday, let's keep things biblical, but with a gay twist. Today's lesson is on the Beatitudes, directives from Jesus to the Gays:

• Fabulous are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
• Fabulicious are the mourners, for they will be comforted.
• Faboo are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled.
• Fabulous are those persecuted for seeking righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
• Fabuliciousness are the meek, they will inherit the earth.
• Fabulous are the merciful, for they will obtain mercy.
• Fab are the pure of heart, for they will see God.
• Fabumungous are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.