Hate Crimes Bill Comes Up For Vote

As early as tomorrow, Congress is going to vote on a Hate Crimes Bill that finally includes the LGBT community in its protections (attempted many times in the past, but blocked by a Republican led Congress). However, don't think that just because the Congress is now in the Democrats hands that it's a done deal. There are many forces working to derail this bill.

Traditional Values Coalition Executive Director Andrea Lafferty says, "The ultimate goal of (the) bill is to silence all opposition to the homosexual/transgender political agenda. So-called ‘hate speech’ will be suppressed because it supposedly incites individuals to violence against homosexuals/transgenders. Defined by homosexuals, hate speech is any verbal or printed materials that criticize the normalization of sodomy in our culture. The goal is to undermine the First Amendment and persecute Christians who oppose homosexuality.”

With idiots like Lafferty around, we can't risk them getting the ears of our congresspeople. So, if you're moved to do something, just Click Here, which will bring you to a form on Human Rights Campaign's website, allowing you to send a pre-scripted email to your congressperson in support of this legislation.

For more information on why Lafferty is wrong, and why this legislation is deeply needed, go to HateCrime.org.

How Many Gays?

Q: How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Five. One to change the lightbulb, and the other four to clap their hands saying "Fabulous!"

More on McGreevey Case: Judge is Quite Bright

Kudos to Judge Karen Cassidy for telling it like it is to Jim McGreevy and ex-wife Dina Matos. Her honor insisted that the case has gotten way out of hand on both sides, and that it wouldn't have gotten to this point had the couple sought mediation, rather than confrontation.

Further, we're also giving the judge a hand basket full of lauding for actually saying that the former governor's sexual orientation is not significant to the case. Basically, we need more judges like Karen Cassidy.

More Kudos to The Gays of Seattle

Today is the day of kudos! My Small Gay World praises the gays of Seattle, who rallied this week to support their annual Pride Event, which wasn't going to happen this year because the organization that runs it was going to go bankrupt.

When the announcement came that Seattle Out and Proud was in the red for $102,000 and about to file for bankruptcy, the LGBT community united, and raised the needed cash. Bravo you gays of Seattle, bravo!

Photo courtesy of Seattle Bloke.

A Cop and His Horse

There's an organization in New York City that plans and organizes special events and outings that gay guys can get out and have fun with other gay guys. Although I am not a member, my friend Jeff is, and using his membership, invited us to a private cocktail mixer at some chic bistro in the East Village being organized by this group. Planning to meet Jeff at the event, my partner and I took the subway to a stop I was unfamiliar with, and although we had directions, found ourselves rather lost (a rare event for me) upon exiting the subway. It was night, so I couldn't even use the sun to judge East to West. However, one of the first things I spotted when we came up from the subway was a cop on a horse. You know, uniform, boots up to the knees, large nightstick, and to top things off, the guy was a hottie (no, it wasn't JUST the uniform!), the epitome of majestic masculinity.

So, I walked up to him and asked if he can direct us to the street we know this place is located, but instead of answering by pointing and giving me directions, he asked exactly what we were looking for, which I thought somewhat odd. So, I tell him the name of the bistro, and then the cop says, "Oh, you guys are going to the cocktail mixer! I was supposed to go, too, but as you can see, I had to work tonight." Apparently, we were dealing with family. Needless to say, we received perfect directions to get there.

That's why this is My Small Gay World, yours too, of course. You see, although six degrees of separation exists in the larger context of life, for us and our tight-knit community, it's more like three degrees of separation.

Photo courtesy of Towleroad (Nisos, by the way, is a popular gay hangout in Chelsea)

Sanjaya's Mom Busted for Pot Possession

The National Enquirer has allegedly uncovered legal records that reveal that American Idol flunk Sanjaya Malakar 's mom was busted for marijuana possession a couple of years ago.

Aparently, Malakar's mother, Jillian Blyth, was arrested in the great state of Washington, in February 2005, after her neighbors smelled pot, and reported it to police. Remember, children, a day spent wasted is not a wasted day.

Hottie Jet Pilot

Rosie O'Donnell to Leave the View

Uber-Dyke Rosie O'Donnell won't be returning to the View next season. According to Rosie, ""My needs for the future just didn't dovetail with what ABC was able to offer me," O'Donnell said in a statement early today.

Although Rosie has boosted ratings for the NBC show, something tells me there's more behind this then meets the eye. Is she leaving because she's not being offered enough money, or could it be a face saving way of getting rid of her.

Maybe producer Barbara Walters "thinks the lady doest protest too much," and is cutting ties after Rosie's very public flare-ups with the likes of Oprah, Kelly Ripa, Donald Trump, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Paula Abdul, and a few others.

Ah, Rosie, you might be a pain in the butt, but you're still OUR pain in the butt!

Fire Island Thoughts III: Nor' Easter Flood

Okay, you Fire Island boys. If you want to see something really scary, get a load of this photo.

Yep, the water from the Nor' Easter that inundated the East Coast literally flooded the entire downtown Fire Island Pines harbor area. Now, as I see it, two feet below the water level near those pylons is the walkway, and what is usually below the walkway is a five foot drop to what is usually the water level, so we're talking about a seven to eight foot surge! Arrrrrr, laddies, get out your buckets and bail!

Invisible Gays

Last year we were on our annual Memorial Day jaunt at a tres gay inn in Fort Lauderdale. As usual, it was tons of fun, and we met a lot of interesting people, talking and chatting poolside. There was one fellow, though, who was basically being ignored by everyone, and left to himself. I decided to go over and sit in the chaise next to him, and started talking to him, and he turned out to be very talkative, interesting, and nice. We chatted for a while, until it was time for me to get ready for dinner. I felt bad for the other guys who ignored him, and who didn’t get a chance to see what a nice fellow he was. But you see, the reason they weren’t approaching him was because he was obese. He is what I call one of the "Invisible Gays.”

You know them, heck, you might even be one. Invisible Gays are those at parties, by the pool, at the bar, basically any gay milieu, but who nobody approaches, or talks to, or barely even notices. They’re fat, or bald, or older, or ugly, or too gay, or any combination of these. Just read the profiles of many guys on line: no fems, fats, or bald guys. Now, I can understand, to an extent, saying this in a MFM profile, because we’re all looking for a guy who matches our personal requirements (impossible to fill as many of them may be), but to be at a fun social event and not approach or include someone just because they don't match one’s personal dating requirements is at best ridiculous, at worst downright mean. Nobody’s thinking we're going to take him back to our room for a romp, and as self-conscious about his weight/hair loss/big nose as he already is, he's probably also pretty sure we’re not trying to pick him up either, but actually just interested in him as a person.

So, the next time your at a party, or some tres gay event, and you see an Invisible Gay, leave the group of hotties you're with for a bit, and chat the guy up. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a friend.

Tres Gay Fasion Tip #2: The Cap

Caps are nice, look really good on a guy, and the visor blocks the sun from your eyes so you get a better view of all the hotties.

Tip: To give your visor that nice curved look, shove it into a large coffee cup over night.

Tres Gay Recipe: Five Alarm Fire Chili

You know, you really don’t have to spend a lot of time and money on some frou-frou dinner when you have your friends over. Sometimes, just having a fun meal together is all that’s needed. How about a five alarm where the heck’s the fire chili dinner (ten alarm, looking at this firefighter!). It’s easy, not expensive, and will give you more time to spend with your friends, and not busy in the kitchen, gaily indefatigable that you are. And we’re going to make it even easier by allowing you to use those packages of chili powder mix, otherwise, the number of ingredients below would double, and who needs that, right?

You can even make this the day before your friends are coming over, which gives time for all the flavors to amalgamate. Here’s what you’ll need:

For preparing the Chili -

• 12 oz tomato paste
• 3 24oz cans red kidney beans (drained)
• 3 24oz cans Whole Tomatoes
• 2 packages of chili mix
• 1 Teaspoon of your favorite hot sauce
• 2 Teaspoons crushed hot pepper
• 3 Teaspoons salt
• 3 medium onions, chopped
• 1 pound ground beef
• 6 oz beer (1/2 can)

For Serving the Chili -

• 2 Medium Onion, chopped
• 1 Can sliced olives
• 2 Heads of Iceberg lettuce (not Hetta, Iceberg!)
• 2 Packages shredded Cheddar Cheese

Here’s what you do:
Grab a big ass pot and put in your ground beef, the three chopped onions, and start cooking, stirring occasionally. While that’s going on, grab a large bowl and put into it those three cans of tomatoes. Now, squeezing them in your hand, crush those tomatoes silly, but make sure they’re fully submerged in the liquid, or they’ll squirt all over the place like a…um…never mind.

Once the meat has cooked, and the onions are translucent, pour in the crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, chili mix, crushed hot pepper, hot sauce, and beer. Stir this around well, and then add the drained kidney beans. Stir, cover, and reduce heat to low, and let simmer, stirring occasionally, for about 30 minutes.

Now, here’s a different way to serve chili, which I found to work really well! Grab those heads of lettuce and shred them into strips, toss, and put into a big serving bowl. Then, grab three similar-sized serving bowls, and in each put your chopped onions, sliced olives, and cheddar cheese.

Tell your friends to grab a bowl, make a bed of shredded lettuce, upon which they’ll spoon the chili, and top with whatever they want: the onion, olives, or cheddar cheese; better yet, all three!

Serve along with a good guacamole and nacho chips, and you’ve got a party!

James McGreevey: Child Custody Battle Heats Up

Former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey (you know, "I am a gay American") is having a rough time making a deal with ex-wife Dina Matos McGreevey over legal custody of their daughter. Unfortunately, when things get this hot, the lawyers take over, and walls go up, allegations are made, and it does not bode well for anyone involved (except for the lawyers, of course). Accusations are flying on both sides, which I am pretty sure can easily be explained by the accused party. However, allegations, sadly, always seem stronger than explanations.

As you recall, McGreevey's book "The Confession" was published last year. And the release of Dina Mato's new tell-all book about their marriage is right around the corner, and it does seem interesting that this is all heating up just before the release of her book (I don't know what it's called, maybe "The Concession"). Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against Matos, but she's suing for full legal and residential custody, which means if she wins, she calls all the shots. The more workable and fairer joint custody doesn't seem to be of interest to her, which is sad, because it would be much better for all sides, but more importantly, better for their young daughter.

This kind of divorce is occurring more frequently over the past decade, and may well continue to rise as more and more closeted gays who got married realize things are a bit safer then they were, that gays are becoming more accepted, and that we're hiding a very large part of who we are from our kids. More to the point, though, we realize that if we're trying to teach our children to be themselves, and not let anything hold them back in their growth as individuals, we have to set a strong example, and by remaining in that dark closet, we do a disservice to ourselves, but just as much, a disservice to our children.

(A divorced gay dad myself, though still very good friends with my children's mother, and whose partner is a divorced gay dad, I believe I can comment on this subject with a certain degree of impunity.)

Fire Island Pines Thoughts II: Low Tea

For those of you who've been to Fire Island Pines for more than a day or two, or those who go regularly, you know very well the fun and sheer gayness that is the Low Tea. The mere mention of those combined words just brightens my mood. The back of my mouth can almost taste the sea air, my head can hear the thump-thump of the music that leaks out from the enclosed dance area, and my hand instinctively curves to hold some invisible libation. Now, that's just me thinking about Low Tea, can you imagine how joyfully content I must be when I'm actually there?

Low Tea is special, because it's something that gay men and their friends have been doing at Fire Island Pines since the days when the police would come out from the mainland and arrest guys willy-nilly, even for just dancing with other guys at the Low Tea. The gays got around this by having the bar pay a girl to go out on the dance floor with them, because as long as there was at least one girl out there dancing with all the guys, things were okay. However, the law also made sure the guys couldn't actually be facing each other when they danced... darn! Oh, but times have changed!

The Low Tea takes place at the Blue Whale, an indoor/outdoor restaurant where the tables miraculously disappear in the afternoon to make room for all the guys coming to the Tea Dance. During the height of the season, on a Saturday or Sunday, the guys are wall-to-wall, many of them shirtless, and ready to party, dance, and get together with their friends. Again, most of this takes place on the Blue Whale's expansive deck, and the sun is still bright and hot, so when you get there, the first thing you have to do is head over to the outdoor bar for a nice cold cosmopolitan (hopefully, the first of many).

I like to climb the stairs of the Hotel Ciel (formerly the Boatel), which is right next to the Blue Whale. This affords me a birds-eye view of the ocean of men, cruising each other, setting up rendezvous with other cute hotties, or maybe just chatting about their evening plans, which probably include dinner, then the High Tea (which we'll discuss in a future Fire Islands Thoughts update).

After your third or fourth beer or cocktail, it's time to dance. So you head into the semi-enclosed dance area, where renowned DJ's keep the guys dancing. Picture it, hot, shirtless boys all glistening with sweat, and dancing up a storm. Sometimes, the music's so great, the guys outside start dancing, as well. Omigosh, I'm having to fan myself as I write!

Another thing I like about Low Tea, and The Pines in general, is the sense of camaraderie we share when there, and the underlying feeling that not only do we play for the same team, but we share in that same team spirit. Often, when walking to the beach, just passing someone is all that's needed for a mutual smile and quick hello.

I recall, not too long after I came out, and being at Low Tea for maybe the second or third time, seeing a miraculous event take place (though one that happens regularly). It was an early Sunday evening, and the guys were soaking up the sun, partying, and having a great time. I took a perch up on the hotel stairs so I could see the whole party below. The music was so hot that the guys outside were dancing to it, too. Suddenly, on its way back to the mainland, and only about 60 feet from the party, the ferry started to glide by packed with guys returning home. Suddenly, the couple hundred guys on the ferry started waving at those at the Low Tea. Now, it takes a lot for a gay man to allow his dancing to be interrupted, but almost in unison, the guys who were still at the Low Tea stopped dancing, turned, and waved back. It lasted all of fifteen seconds, but it left me very moved, and made an impression that today I will never forget.

You see, most of these guys, both at the Low Tea and on the ferry, were really not waving at anyone in particular, but they were pretty sure of one thing, the guys they were waving to played for their team, and shared that same team spirit.

(Many thanks to the Modern Monk, another Fire Island fan, for use of the photos above. Visit the Modern Monk's blog by clicking here!)

Question of the Day: Jonny Quest's Father

Dr. Benton
Quest:

Top
or
Bottom?

With a name like Benton, I believe I can hazard a guess. It's right up there with Wentworth!

Stay tuned for tomorrow's publication of Fire Island Pines Thoughts II: The Low Tea!

Gays, Guns, and Roses...Pink Roses

In light of the recently tragic massacre at Virginia Tech, and the continued debate over gun control that will undoubtedly soon flood the media, I’d like to call your attention to the Pink Pistols. This group is a gay, pro-firearms organization that believes carrying handguns can make gays safer from gay bashing, if not worse.

The Pink Pistols’ website claims, “There are now over 35 Pink Pistols chapters nationwide, and more are starting up every day. We are dedicated to the legal, safe, and responsible use of firearms for self-defense of the sexual-minority community. We no longer believe it is the right of those who hate and fear gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or polyamorous persons to use us as targets for their rage. Self-defense is our RIGHT.” The organization is going international with its first Canadian chapter having recently started.

Yet, don’t be misled into thinking that the Pink Pistols is just a pro-firearms type of lobbying group; they meet regularly for target practice, and have courses so new members can receive proper training in firearms safety, and their legal use for self-defense.

Although I’m personally for greater gun control, I have to admit, the idea of being approached by some homophobic thug with a tire iron, and whipping out my Ruger SA revolver, pointing it at him, and saying, “bring it on, dude,” sounds absolutely delicious!

Gays, Gyms, and Idaho Guys

One of my favorite movies is Broken Hearts Club, about a group of gay friends and how their lives and friendships are affected by their small gay world. One scene finds them at the gym, where one friend is being cruised by this perfect specimen of a guy who looks like he's right off the farm. Well, gay-gossips that they are, his friends start whispering that he's being picked up by "Idaho guy." The main character, Dennis, who is not in on the situation, asks why they call him Idaho guy, and they explain to him that they don't really know, other than he looks like he's from Idaho.

I just got back from a workout during my lunch break, where I saw all the hotties for whom my partner and I (we go to the same gym) have given descriptive names. There's Tom of Finland guy, who's really butch and built like a brick house, there's Bulldog Pup, this young guy whose handsome young looks, along with a solid, killer body, struts around like a hot/cute little bulldog puppy. Trust me, there are many other such names we have for guys at our gym, and I know my gay friends use this descriptive naming process at theirs, too.

I wonder if straight guys do this, like, do they say, "Hey, I saw Britney Spears Girl at the gym today," or, "Boobs Galore was on the treadmill, and her thangs were just shak'n all over the place!" I tend to doubt it; they just don't have that gay creativity we so possess.

Although I believe the gay demographics at our gym to be on the low side, I do wonder what descriptive names our resident gays have given me, and I'm given into a wave of self-deprecating, self-conscious worry. However, that soon passes, and I'm back to my narcissistic little self. Sheeew, glad that's passed.

My Gay Car Magnet: Rainbows Get Attention

I have a rainbow magnet on my car, and it certainly serves its purpose. Once in a while, a car on the highway will beep as it speeds by, and on it's bumper I'll see an HRC sticker...and no, I'm not a slow driver, as is evident by the speeding ticket for which I'm waiting a court date. Unfortunately, these instances are too far and way too few in between. Usually, out of the corner of my eye, I'll catch someone gawking, "Hey, look, Ralph, there's one of them there homosexuals!"

I'm not sure, however, if part of the stares are because they're surprised a gay man is driving around in a suburban-esque-soccer-mom-like minivan. Remember, my partner and I often have our four kids around, and a minivan with a DVD player became essential once the kids got so big we couldn't squeeze everyone in to a regular car.

My rainbow bumper sticker serves its purpose in other ways, though negative. My tire was slashed a couple of months ago in the Adirondacks, of all places. Luckily, we were not on a highway when it finally went, because we had two little ones with us. Attention homophobic idiots (okay, oxymoronic, I know), gay people can have kids in the car with them, too! Two hundred dollars later, I'm wondering if it's worth having that rainbow on the back of the car. It's still there, so I guess I must think it is. I'm out of the closet, and not going back in!

Do you have anything on your car that shouts you're gay, or at least suggests it? If you don't want to shout you're gay, straight people don't know what the HRC sticker means, but by putting one on your vehicle, at least the rest of us will know you're in a "Family Car."

Tres Gay Beauty: The Facial

For those of you over the age of thirty, and some of you even younger, time, sun, and all your many vices seem to be reflected in your face. If you're like me and smoke (trying to quit), and enjoy your cocktails (not trying to quit), you have even more reason to treat your face with greater care, because nicotine and alcohol are two of the major causes for premature aging of the skin.

Along with your daily shaving, cleansing, and moisturising, why not add a Saturday morning facial to your regimen? A weekly home facial is not difficult, doesn't take a lot of time, and can leave your face looking fresh, young, and ready for more partying.

Exfoliating:
First, shave. After shaving, use an exfoliating cream, one that has just a slight grittiness to it. This removes the dead skin and top layer of your skin. Although your razor does do some exfoliating, it doesn't get to that top layer of skin, and if you're using an electric razor, honey, you're not exfoliating at all.

Mud, Mayo, and Other Masking Mayhem:
Okay, now it's time for the mask. This is when you get to place a towel wrapped like a turban around your head, wear a mud mask, and chase your partner around with a wire coat hanger yelling, "Christine!!!!!" Now, you don't have to purchase expensive masks (though they are fun), because you probably already have what you need right in your refrigerator.

For Oily Skin: Take a large egg, crack it open, and toss the yoke. Take those egg whites and beat 'em silly. Then, mask this egg white mixture onto your face. Now, try to keep your face still, because you want this to dry on your face without cracking. As it dries, you'll feel it tightening, and you can fan your face with your latest Instinct Magazine (then, of course, read it). Leave on for about 15-20 minutes, and wash it off (best in the shower).

For Dry/Normal Skin: Take that same beaten egg white, and mix in a teaspoon of mayonnaise, yep, you heard me, mayonnaise, though you can also use olive oil. Adding this will moisturize your face. Leave on for about 15-20 minutes, and wash it off (again, best in the shower).
Tone it Down a Bit, Will You?
Toners help smooth and refresh your face, and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and you can purchase toners at any drugstore. Toners increase circulation, gives your face a healthy glow, while hydrating your skin and restoring your skin's natural PH balance. However, although a nice addition to your facial, s toner is not essential.

You're special, admit it, so treat yourself to a weekly facial. It's easy, it's decadent, and it's a nice way of keeping your face healthy-looking.

Hating the Gays

It never ceases to amaze me, the names of the many right-wing, homophobic organizations who despise us, and work with great effort to defeat us in anything we do.

Take for instance Concerned Women for America, or Alliance Defense Fund, or maybe Focus on the Family--all have names that are somewhat innocuous sounding, but which belie organizations that are so right-winged, so conservative, and so religiously geared, as to make any "normal" citizen gravely concerned.

I don't like giving links to these websites, therefore offering these idiots gratuitous "hits" to their websites. However, I suggest you visit their sites regularly, because the things you'll read there should piss you off like nothing else, and hopefully motivate you, as they certainly do me, to get politically active. Even if it's just going to Human Rights Campaign or the Gay and Lesbian Taskforce's websites and using their easy mechanisms to email your congresspeople and senators.

Anger is not always a negative force, not when its a righteous anger, and if you read and hear the crap that these organizations are saying about us, our friends, and our families, then I say, stay well, stay pissed off.

Tres Gay Recipe: Ravioli with Walnut Cream Sauce

What makes a recipe gay, you ask? Well, when the cook's queer, of course! I grew up in an Italian neighborhood in Westchester, New York, and I have a slew of really good recipes to share. This one, however, I got from the head chef of a fabulous Italian restaurant. It's easy, it's fast, yet quite impressive if you're bringing your new beau home for a quickie..er, quick dinner. Lastly, after you make it once, you'll not have to look at the recipe again, it's that easy!

What you need:

• 1 Pkg. Frozen Ravioli (only use cheese or lobster...leave the meat ravioli to Chef Boyardee)
• 1/2 Clove Garlic
• 1/2 - 1/3 Cup of Walnuts
• 4 Tablespoons Olive Oil (okay, maybe 5)
• 1 Cup Light Cream (okay, you can use skim milk if you're like me)
• Chopped Italian Parsley (optional)
• Salt and Pepper to Taste

While your ravioli is cooking, get out your Cuisinart and toss in the walnuts, olive oil, and garlic. Set your machine to a medium level, and continue to mix, open and spoon things around, mix, open and spoon things around, until you get this nice, somewhat smooth paste.

Transfer the paste into a mixing bowl, and gradually mix in the cream or milk until you get a wonderfully thick sauce (again, go slow, you don't want it to be too watery, now, do you?). Also, you may not have to use all of the cream or milk...go by consistency!

Put your al dente ravioli into the sauce and gently FOLD, do not mix, the ravioli into the sauce. Toss onto some plates, sprinkle with the chopped parsley, and you're done. Serve with whatever Italian side dishes you want--maybe just a salad. Next time you make this, play around a little, be daring and use a whole clove of garlic, though that's better left to when your company is, shall we say, platonic.

Give Me That Old Gay Religion

Picture it, last year's New York City Pride, where of course the media always show the drag queens, mostly naked gays, lesbian breasts, and anything ris-gay. However, what they were missing, and what I'm noticing as I stand there gleefully enjoying the day, is that with each NYC Pride, there is this continued growth in the number of religious and church/synagogue-affiliated floats and marchers. As most of this blog is about churches, if you are Jewish you have permission to skip most of this blog to the last paragraph. Though I hope you read on.

The picture to the right is from Pride 2005, when Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, the first openly gay, happily partnered, bishop in the United States, led a Pride Service at Church of the Holy Apostles in New York City. My partner was there, and is even in this photo. See him? Hi, Michael!

During the march, many of these religious floats and marchers handed out buttons and pins to the people watching the parade, and I received from one group a button that had this really nice biblical quote (something Matthew, I believe), that went along the lines that ALL are God's children and accepted, including God's gay children. I read it and smiled, and slid it into my pocket--I didn't want to miss the HX float that was coming with its barely-clad Adonises, the make-shift flatbed they were on literally bouncing up and down due to their fierce dancing. Hot! Simply hot! And one of them was in the process of taking off his...whoops, I do digress.

After the march ended and everyone was heading to their favorite clubs, my friends and I decided to head over to Gym Bar. It was crowded, and we had to wait outside in a short line that passed right next to its outdoor smoking area; the smokers corralled by a waist high metal bar, but barely an arm's distance from us as we stood on the busy 8th Avenue sidewalk. On the other side, and as we waited, I began following this conversation of a small group of friends as they talked about religion and their beliefs. Well, this younger guy was cruelly cynical, and was telling his friends how he hates organized religion, that all churches hate fags, that he would just as soon go to hell than a church, and that he doesn't give a shit about God anymore. I noticed the line was now moving up and we were all going in, and as we were just about to move, my hand felt something in my jean's pocket, it was the button. I tapped the young guy on the shoulder, and handed it to him, saying "don't worry, it's getting better." As I started walking away, I heard the unmistakable sound of a tin button hitting the beer stained, cigarette ridden cement at his feet. For only a second was I angry (rude, un-Godly little twink, I thought to myself), but almost instantly that feeling turned to one of pity towards this guy, and I wondered what he must have endured to be so fully despising of religion, church, and God.

The Episcopal church that we attend is really gay friendly (actually, with so many gays in the congregation, I like to say it's straight-friendly). Every guy in the choir just happens to be gay...I know, your jaws are all dropping at that one. But it's really cool, and our church has a liturgy that you won't find at most others. Although keeping with traditional liturgy, we use music and readings that are all-inclusive, because that's the way we think it should be done. Hell, we even have a few Jewish people attending service, simply because they feel so welcome. Of course, when your priest is gay, and he and his partner are good friends, church-going for a gay person can be fun, and by no means is our priest the only gay priest out there. Our priest once asked my how many straight Episcopal priests does it take to change a light bulb? The answer: both of them. But, it's more than just a gay thing, our church welcomes everyone, and I'd say a good portion are either gay, or former Catholics who got tired of being told what to think, or people who have grown too weary of not being allowed to believe, without fear of being excommunicated, what they personally believe. Our church is a place where we find our answers individually, yet at the same time side-by-side, and are not force-fed our answers through a twenty minute sermon and a dip'n sip.

For those who, like the fellow I mentioned above, don't go to church because you've been burnt by your denomination, priest, or religion, I can assure you it is getting better, and there are many gay-friendly churches of many denominations who would welcome you. Being out, proud, and gay, and belonging to a church community can work, and does for many. If you'd like to see if there's a gay-friendly church in your neck of the woods, or check out why we really haven't been abandoned, then check out GayChurch.org! It's a wonderful resource.

For my Jewish friends, wait until a later blog, and I'll tell you about the gay Seder I attend each year, the Epiphany I experienced at at large GLBT Yom Kippur service a few years ago, and my Jewish friends who are gay. Fortunately, Reformed Judaism has come a long way, and the fact that it is guided by the very basic belief that all human beings are created b'tselem Elohim, is, indeed, a blessing.

Tres Gay Fashion Tip #1 - Corduroy Pants

Okay, guys, if you want to accentuate your ass, appear a bit taller, and look a little slimmer, then you have to have a pair of corduroy pants in your wardrobe. There's just something about a guy in corduroy, which sadly left the fasionista scene during the late 80's and most of the 90's, but has made quite the comeback in the past few years.

Although a few might believe corduroy to still be on the "out" list for clothing, they are sadly mistaken. Crisp lines, straight (ahem) legs that hug the thighs, and a design that can make any ass look good.

Some tips:

• Stay away from the wider corduroy fabric, this is still on the "out" list, the thinner the lines, the thinner the thinning.


• Always go tan. Brown or blue corduroy hide the shadows of the linear quality of the fabric, thus removing any sense of texture.


• Regardless of your size, try to buy a pair just slightly snug (never tight).

Second Poopie Head Exonerated

In my blog yesterday, we told you that Roseanne was on the Poopie Head list because she said all gays and lesbians were self-centered, narcissistic, and only cared about matters gay. Well, she's apologized in her own blog, saying, "I deeply regret that I have offended gay people," she wrote. "I said things that I do not really mean, before I had thought them through... I was wrong and I seriously apologize!" Roseanne has thus been removed from the Poopie Head list, but the other Poopie Head remains.

Today's Poopie Heads

Yep, I have an 8 and an 11-year old, and as a gay dad, I get to say "poopie head" without too much fear of being overly reprimanded. First on today's list of Poopie Heads is none other than that wonderful friend of the gays, Arnold.

As it looks as if the California Legislature is once again going to pass a measure allowing Same Sex Marriage, he's once again said if it comes his way, he'll veto it. When will he learn, Gay Marriage always starts in states with Republican Governors, silly Girly Man, tricks are for gays!

Second on our Poopie Head list for today is Roseanne, who has this belief that gays and lesbians think nothing but of themselves. According to 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff, Barr said, "Never once in my 54 years have I ever once heard a gay or lesbian person who’s politically active say one thing about anything that was not about them."

"They don’t care about minimum wage, they don’t care about any other group other than their own self because you know, some people say being gay and lesbian is a totally narcissistic thing and sometimes I wonder."

She then went on to say: "I've never heard any of them say anything except for 'accept me cause I’m gay.'

Gosh, with friends like these, who needs enemies, but then again, who cares, because, after all, it's all about us, anyway!

Fire Island Pines Thoughts I: Expectations

Okay, Easter wasn't as bad as I thought, and Michael's mother and I even talked! Omigosh! Of course, several glasses of wine helped the day go faster.

Although it's cold in New York today, I'm sitting at my office thinking, dreaming actually, of that first trip out to Fire Island for the 2007 season. Maybe just a day trip, maybe a weekend, we'll have to wait and see. Nevertheless, that first trip out is always filled with so much anticipation, excitement, and fun...of course with all those shirtless boys walking around, how could it be otherwise.

After you've bought your ferry ticket, and you're milling about the dock with the other guys, and few gals, too, all waiting to board the ferry for that 25 minute ride over the Great Bay, it's fun to people watch. There's the ubiquitous dog owners, with their "children" in tow, the two young guys you know just started dating, and this is, like, their first little get-away together, the older gay couple bringing out enough supplies to last two whole months on the island. All sorts make up our gay community, but there's one thing I've always loved, is that there is this underlying feeling of camaraderie, and people chat and nod as if we're one big family, though in many ways we are! Finally, the gates open, you hand in your ticket, and board the ferry.

Cutting across the water, watching as the Pines nears, you get this level of excitement as you plan your day. Coffee al fresco upon arrival, watching the hotties walk by for their morning paper at the Pines Pantry (grocery store), maybe walk along the beach to Cherry Grove, arriving as some of their nice little shops are opening. A day spent at the beach, and then Low Tea, High Tea, etc.

This photo is by a photo-journalist-blogger who's blog I ran across a year or two ago, and who is a superb photographer (quite the jet-setter, too). His name is Thomas Locke Hobbs, which is, like, such a cool name, and this picture is one he took while on Fire Island. When the gays go to the beach, they leave their shoes, sandals, and sneakers at the top of the stairs leading down to the beach (who needs sandy footwear?), and this picture is the first view you see as you approach the beach at Fire Island. Of course, what's ON the beach as you get nearer those stairs is an incredible site, too.

We'll talk more about Fire Island thoughts in subsequent blogs. For now, I'm content dreaming of that first trip of the season.

It's That Time!

Okay, it's about time I did this. A blog, gay gay gay. A few things we'll be paying close attention to on this blog, other than matters tres gay, will be things that affect my small gay world. These include:

• My Partner, my kids, my partner's kids...yeah, like we're, you know, the Gaydey Bunch.
• My friends, who I will refer to by initial only (they'll know who they are, and you'll get to know each and every one of these peeps*)
• My wonderful little gay excursions, like trips out to Fire Island (the Pines, naturally). Stay tuned for May, when we head to Fort Lauderdale.
• Religion and acceptence of gays.
• Beauty tips, recipes, and fashion advice, along with my personal thoughts about everything gay.

*Did I just use the word "peeps?" Someone, shoot me NOW!

So, stay tuned, hold onto your hats, and welcome to My Small Gay World!