Heaven's Gate: Gay as a Maypole

Okay, I don't want to belabor Jerry Farwell's death...oh, who are we kidding, of course I do! Well, it's always been my personal daydream that when folk like Jerry Farwell get to heaven, Saint Peter is, in fact, really Carson Kressley!

Farwell: Saint Peter, we finally meet! But, why are the gates closed, and why are you dressed like that!?
Kressley: Honey, those gates aren't opening for you until you change those clothes, I mean, get a fashion sense, sister.
Farwell: But, wait, I don't understand...
Kressley: Look, sweetie, all your life you persecuted the gays, and well, I'm gay and not exactly happy with you. I'd let you in, but I can't for your own good.
Farwell: My own good? What do you mean?
Kressley: Yep, hon, for your own good. You see, if you think I'm pissed at you, you should see Archangel Michael!