Homophobic Shibboleths

Recently we had the pleasure of giving kudos to a straight blogger and his blog (Steve Likes to Curse) for a wonderful piece he wrote in support of gay marriage--his words were most supportive, and he used words indicative of someone gay-friendly.

However, nothing bothers me more than individuals who "claim" to be okay with gays, but in fact show that they are not by certain shibboleths they use. For instance, there is one key word that is very indicative of someone who is deeply homophobic, despite what they might say to the contrary, and that word is "homosexual." You see, those straight folk who are really on our side usually only use this word when placed next to heterosexual, quoting someone else, or tongue-in-cheek. Hiding-homophobes almost never use the word "gay."

Another phrase you'll see pop up with homophobes who pretend to be okay with the gays is, "I don't care what people do in the privacy of their own bedroom...," and is one of the deepest digs they can give. You see, being gay to homophobes is purely sexual, that's all it is. Being gay to them only means gay sex, and ignores the bonded relationships, love, camaraderie, parenthood, and human emotion that are just as strong as any sexual urges.

Another shibboleth to look out for is the word "lifestyle," because true straight allies know to use the word orientation, understanding that many gays live a lifestyle very much akin to their straight neighbors, and that it's only their sexual orientation that differs.

So, the next time you're listening to someone claiming to be comfortable and okay with gays, pay close attention to the words they use, because if you listen closely, you'll find that they just might secretly be gay-hating homophobes.