Rita Booke: Worrying Mom's Add Stress

Resident drag queen and answerer-of-all-questions Rita Booke is asked:

Dear Miss Brooke, I am closeted and I want to tell my family. I realize what it entails-I've read all the online advice. But there's a catch. My family is having some trouble in relation to jobs and money and it's driving my mom insane. She works up so much stress that almost anything can make her snap. I have no idea what sets her off-it could be anything. And while I know that she won't be mad at me for being gay, I can assure you that she will worry herself sick about me on top of all the other things that she is going through, and I just can't have that happen. However, I really feel the need to tell them. My dad would be pretty cool about it. He's much calmer. Do you think I should tell him first? Any advice on how to break it to my mom? Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it.

Signed, Desperate

Oh, you poor thang! First, you have to understand that mothers will always worry about their gay sons, even those who are not worry worts like yours. They worry about AIDS, homophobia, bullying, violence against their sons, and they even worry if he'll meet the right guy, and yours would probably be not too different. Now, as worrying goes, it would kind'a help her control some part of her life that she has no control over. Basically, she can't control whether you'll be called a fagot by some idiot, but she can control the level of which she worries about it. If some of the other things she's been overly worried about are "C" list worries, maybe giving her something worth worrying about (that would be you, sunshine), might be a good thing for a change.

Now, you don't go into great detail about the job and money problems, but let me tell you sweetie, there is never going to be the best time to tell your folks you're gay, there is always going to be something on the front burner, and all you can do is try to gauge when the "least" worryisome time is to tell your parents.